Crap.
Dude, here are some points you should work on.
A) Original graphics.
B) Not such a crappy story.
C) Why the fuck did you make it that the text goes from the left to the right? You don't read 'Your mother sucks cocks' as 'cocks sucks mother your', now do you? God, think before you submit something as crappy as this. Or just don't.